how i became a famous novel reviewer
a very good friend of mine° by the name of steve hely is about to release his debut novel, bombastically titled how i became a famous novelist. steve was courteous enough to send me an advanced proof which i have read (and re-read) and am now ready to say a few things about.
the novel is a keen satire of the modern literary milieu which chronicles a crafty slacker (pete tarslaw) working at an essay mill as he attempts to develop a formula for becoming a bestselling author (he eventually does become one for reasons that, ironically, he cannot control (this is not a spoiler since it is revealed in the title)).
steve has taken a note from us bloggers and filled the novel with hilarious lists. consider the protagonist’s goals as a novelist
- FAME—Realistic amount. Enough to open new avenues of sexual opportunity. Personal assistant to read my mail. grocery shop, and so on.
- FINANCIAL COMFORT—Never have a job again. Retire. Spend rest of life lying around, pursuing hobbies (boating? skeet shooting?).
- STATELY HOME BY OCEAN (OR SCENIC LAKE)—Spacious library, bay windows, wet bar. HD TV, discreetly placed. Comfortable couch.
- HUMILIATE POLLY AT HER WEDDING.
or some of the possible metaphors/moving scenes that the protagonist comes up with for his book:
- Woman who says stuff that turns out to have extra meaning when it’s revealed that she’s in a wheelchair.
- They pull over by a prison and see the prisoners working on the farm. One of the prisoners tips his hat.
- Overheard conversations at truck stops (blue collar earnestness).
- Everybody singing along to the same song (Patsy Cline?) on the radio. It reminds them all of different stuff (first kiss, night before he shipped out, etc.)
- They pass some kids going to the prom. Genevieve says she never had a prom, so Silas dances with her in a cornfield.
the novel that the protagonist winds up writing is every bit as awful and as contrived as his lists make it sound—and this is where steve excels. it is very very difficult to write bad prose well. when i was a kid i devised a plan that if the cops ever nabbed me (for doing whatever) i would plead insanity and just say wacky incongruent things until they let me off the hook scot-free. writing bad prose well (like pretending to be non compos mentis) is a delicate balance of believability. too much on one side of the spectrum and it will be jarring and conspicuous, too much on the other side and it will lose its edge.
steve is adept at humorously crafting a convincingly run-of-the-mill bestselling book within a book and this is why how i became a famous novelist shines. there are yucks, to be sure, but like all successful black comedies, the yucks are funny until the reader realises that they are based on a darker truth. and when that darker truth is the state of modern literature, the reader’s bellowing guffaws may soon turn to whimpering sobs.
you can (as i have done) become a fan of steve’s novel on facebook, gossip about it on goodreads, or purchase it from amazon.
