middling talents

certain writers elect to go by their middle name. usually this is because the mafia forced them to do it or a company holds a copyright for their first name and threatens to take them to court. other times it is because of medical conditions like 1. dyslexia or 2. chronic boogers. whatever the reason, here is a list of these individuals and their actual first names.

• (william) somerset maugham
• (henry) graham greene
• (samuel) dashiell hammet
• (henry) charles bukowski
• (harry) sinclair lewis
• (mary) flannery o’connor
• (dillard) mills baker
• (paul) thomas mann
• (adeline) virginia woolf
• (nicole) harper lee
• (joseph) rudyard kipling
• (clarence) malcolm lowry
• (frederick) ogden nash

should you ever find yourself in the sack with any of the people in the list above, you now know the proper word to holler.

also: i have been slowblogging the pulp outta my source. if lists and literature are your thang, then you might want to consider buying this book from your local bookstore or shoplifting it from barnes and/or noble.

UPDATE (9/10/2009):

• (arthur) evelyn (st. john) waugh