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audio books out of context #4

this is the fourth post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series publish themselves every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for release on december 29th, 2009 at 15:37. by that time, croatia will have elected itself a new president and afghanistan will have celebrated the 30th birthday of it being invaded by russia née the soviet union.

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the previous post in this series has been lost to the ages. or has it? the second post in this series was excerpted from brave new world by aldous huxley (1931). the proprietor of the what sweaty’s about blog was the first to correctly match the audio with the book.

December 14, 2009
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abooc audio

an unexplained absence

salve citizens,

i have been away from the thing called the internet for the better part of ten days. this mysterious disappearance was due to a spirit journey that i pretended to undertake in the white mountains of new hampshire. while i cannot reveal the 14 new enlightenments about my psyche that i feigned to achieve, i can tell you that the tutelary deity that assisted me took the form of an overly musky, bucktoothed marmot by the name of mistress dragonsong.

because of my unexpectedly long absence, i failed to oversee two critical ragbag items and thus offer the following programming announcement:

  • the third installment in the gripping audio books out of context series failed to automatically post itself due to a software glitch similar to the y2k “willennium” bug. because of the many 1s and 0s involved, it is unknown at what point in the future or in the past that this installment will ever post itself. you will be delighted to learn that the fourth installment has not been affected and is due to appear on the 14th of december at 10:10 am.
  • one year ago on december 4th, my gastroenterologist and i posted a bunch of titillatingly raunchy quotes under the cloak of highbrow literature. we decided that if we were both around a year from then, we would continue the tradition. technically, i wasn’t still around when december 4th came this year—i was gumming up peyote buttons in an underground labyrinth assisting mistress dragonsong with her tick problem. because of this loophole in the fabric of time, i am happy to announce that the second annual sex & literature day will be officially observed on thursday, december 17th, 2009.

i thank you for your patience and hope to reward it tomorrow with a special week-long feature that has been giving me the metaphorical excitement of 34 viagra pills.

December 7, 2009
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abooc tumblr animals sexlit day
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audio books out of context #2

this is the second post in the audio books out of context series. posts in this series premier exclusively on the ragbag every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post is scheduled for wide release on november 29th, 2009 at 4:53 (eastern standard time). by that time, the original of laura will have dropped online and in bookstores. should you have attempted to read it, please keep in mind that nabokov’s ghost will most likely attempt to eat your soul.

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the previous post in the series was excerpted (rather rudely) from pillars of the earth by ken follet (1989). the proprietress of the alphalemon blog was the first to correctly identify this—for that, i bestow upon her my most sincere congratulations.

November 13, 2009
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audio abooc literature sex nabokov
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

audio books out of context #1

this is the first in the audio books out of context series. posts will appear every ¾(π²√5)² hours. the next post will be on november 13th, 2009 at 23:35 at which point the moon will be in a waning crescent phase (in the northern hemisphere) and a lady gaga song is predicted to be the #1 single (in eastern european night clubs).

October 29, 2009
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audio literature abooc sex