more f-words from yesteryear

[part the third: FLAP-DRAGON to FLURT]

this week’s edition contains a mésalliance of both handy definitions (“a side of bacon”, “to laugh sarcastically”), balderdash™-style descriptions (“the person who puts the feather on an arrow”, “having a mouth like a flounder”), and suessian whimsy (flee flowns, flibberjibber, and flothery). enjoy:

• FLAP-DRAGON. A small substance such as a plum or candle end set afloat in a cup of spirits and when set on fire, snatched by the mouth and swallowed. This was a common amusement in former times but is now nearly obsolete
• FLAWPS. An awkward, noisy, untidy, and slovenly person
• FLAZE. A smoky flame
• FLEACHES. Portions into which timber is cut by the saw
• FLEAMY. Clotted with blood
• FLEE FLOWNS. The eggs of flies in meat
• FLECK. a side of bacon
• FLETCHER. An arrow maker. Properly the person who put on the feather
• FLIBBERGIBBER. A lying knave
• FLIGHT-SHOT. The distance a flight arrow would go, about a fifth part of a mile
• FLIPPERING. Crying, weeping
• FLIT. To move, especially at night to cheat the landlord
• FLIZZEN. To laugh sarcastically
• FLIZZOMS. Flying particles
• FLOKE MOWTHEDE. Having a mouth like a flounder
• FLOOD MARK. The mark which the sea at the highest tide makes on the shore
• FLOP. the scrotum
• FLOTHERY. Slovenly but attempting to be fine and showy
• FLUMP. a heavy fall
• FLURCH. A great quantity
• FLURT. To snap the fingers derisively. Hence any satirical action or speech

[part the second: FERLY to FLAPDOODLE]

thus resumes the second part of my poolitzer-nominated series within a series of select f-words from this ferly dictionary:

• FERLY. Wonderfully strange
• FERNYERE. In former times
• FEVER-LURDEN. The disease of idleness
• FEZZON. To seize on—generally applied to the actions of a greedy ravenous eater
• FILL DIKE. The month of February
• FIMASHINGS. In hunting, the dung of any kind of wild beasts
• FIPPLE. The under lip
• FIRST FOOT. The name given to the first person who first enters a dwelling house on New Year’s day
• FIRSUN. Furze or gorse
• FISS BUTTOCKED SOW. A fat, coarse, vulgar, presuming woman
• FIX. A lamb yeaned dead
• FLACKET. A girl whose clothes hang loosely about her
• FLAG. A flake of snow
• FLANKER. A spark of fire
• FLANTUM FLATHERUM PIEBALD DILL. A woman fantastically dressed with various colours
• FLAPDOODLE. The stuff fools are said to nourished on

provincial f-words from the 14th century

bros, i started the f-word series as a way of showcasing some choice morsels from specialised dictionaries. i chose words that start with f partly because of my infantile preoccupation with labiodental fricatives but also because enabling limits on my search meant that i would have more free time to hang out with my buddies at applebee’s and talk about witty hollister t-shirts. this system had been going swell until my good friend orson, dropped this onto my desk and my world shattered.

its full title is: a dictionary of arcahic and provincial words, obsolete phrases, proverbs, and ancient customs, from the fourteenth century (1850)—and it is worthy of a 5 part series within a series.

[part the first: FADGY to FELSH]

• FADGY. Corpulent; unwieldy
• FAEGANG. A gang of beggars
• FAFF. To move violently
• FAIR-TRO-DAYS. Daylight
• FAITOUR. An idle lazy fellow; a scoundrel; a flatterer; Hence, a general term of reproach
• FALDORE. A trap-door
• FALLE. A mouse-trap
• FALLINGS. Dropped fruit
• FALLOWFORTH. A waterfall
• FAMBLE. To stutter, or murmur inarticulately
• FANGAST. Fit for marriage, said of a maid
• FANOM-WATER. The acrimonious discharge from the sores of cattle
• FANTICKLES. Freckles
• FARAND. Used in composition for advancing towards, or being ready. Fighting farand: ready for fighting. Farand-man: a traveller or itinerant merchant
• FARREL. The fourth part of a circular oatcake, the division being made by a cross
• FARTHINGS. Flattened peas
• FASGUNTIDE (1) Trouble; care; anxiety; fatigue (2) The tops of turnips
• FASYL. A flaw in cloth
• FEANT. A fool
• FEATLET. Four pounds of butter
• FEELDY. Grassy
• FEER. to run a little way back for the better advantage of leaping forwards
• FELSH. To renovate a hat

oddments

IF it is a specialised jargon dictionary
AND it was published in 1888 
AND it concerns the topic of typography
THEN you had better believe that it is part of raynor ganan’s vast library

this installment of f-words comes from the printers’ vocabulary: a collection of some 2500 technical terms, phrases, abbreviations and other expressions mostly relating to letterpress printing many of which have been in use since the time of caxton (in the realm of type, william caxton is a christlike figure that everyone sets their dates around, thus anything that happened in the printing world before the time of caxton is annotated b.c.).

• Feint ruling—Very light and thin lines used in account ruling.
• Fine presswork—A term applied to the better class of handwork in printing.
• Fire eater—An old term for a rapid setter of type.
• Fly—An odd lad for errands and other jobs—also called printer’s devils.
• Flying a frisket—The process of turning up or down the tympan when printing at a hand-press.
• Foolscap—A size of printing paper, 17 × 13½ inches; writing paper, 16¾ × 13½ inches.
• Forty-eightmo—A sheet of paper folded into forty-eight leaves—written shortly, 48mo.
• Foxed—Paper or books stained or mouldy are said to be “foxed.”
• Fret—When rollers crack or peel they are said to “fret.”
• Frontispiece—The illustration facing the title-page of a work.
• Fugitive’ colours—A class of coloured inks which are not permanent in tone, and change or fade on exposure.
• Full bound—A term used to define a book wholly bound in leather (cf. quarter bound and half bound).

f-clichés

this week’s f-words are more properly f-clichés. of particular interest to yorrs tru-ly are fossil words (such as fettle and fraught) that now only exist in the english language because they have been preserved in idiom like frogs in formaldehyde.

• fall head over heals: to enter an activity so thoroughly as to be almost helpless. the head is normally over the heels, so the term would seem to make more sense as “heels over head,” and indeed that is what it was. as early as the 14th century it appeared as “hele ouer hed” in a poem, though the corruption has been around for a long time.
• feather in his cap: an honor. it was once a custom in many countries to award a feather to a soldier who had killed an enemy; the feather was worn in the helmet or some other kind of headgear. that is the literal meaning of the term; the figurative meaning of an honor or achievement was in the language by 1657.
• (to be in) fine fettle: to be in good health or spirits. “fettle” was a verb meaning to put in order. “to be in fine fettle” was to be well set up to do something.
• (of the) first water: of the highest quality. for centuries diamonds were graded as “first water,” “second water,” or “third water,” the use of “water” in this sense arising from the resemblance of the diamond to water in its clarity and translucence.
• fit as a fiddle: in fine shape. fiddles are admired for their sound and sometimes for their trim and symmetrical shape. indeed, to say “his face is made of a fiddle” was once a way of describing someone as charming. still, fiddles are not known for their fitness and one suspects the allure of alliteration in the origin and perpetuation of the saying, which is quite old.
• (with) flying colors: triumphantly. the “colors” are the flags or banners borne by a naval ship; in victory the colors remain prominently displayed.
• fraught with danger: perilous. “fraught,” is a relative of “freight.” things have been “fraught with difficulties” for at least 400 years.
• from the horse’s mouth: the truth. you can tell the age of a horse accurately by looking at its teeth, which is why one is advised not to “look a gift horse in the mouth.” the horse’s pairs of permanent teeth appear in succession at definite ages. the lore is old but the expression seems to be of 20th century origin.

from the dictionary of clichés, by james rogers (1985).

a single f-word

i was at the beach on labor day, rubbing a special blend of canola oil and lavender extract on my well-cobbled abdominals and reading the oxford english dictionary (volume vi, follow to haswed) when i happened upon the following obscure f-word:

foist, v. - to break wind silently.

¡muy fantastico! one of the usage quotes was: “spurne your hounds when they foiste.” but my question is this: if to foist is to break wind silently, how do you know which hound to spurne? and once you determine who dealt it, can you then randle yom, or is the randle reserved for humans only? i need to brush up on my farting protocol.

some grose f-words

i suppose that it was inevitable that i would eventually turn to cap’n grose’s dictionary of the vulgar tongue for some ribald f-words. i first came across this lexicon of “buckish slang, university wit, and pickpocket eloquence” back in the seventh grade when i found it on the top shelf (read: most private) of my uncle’s bookcase. needless to say, i spent the duration of my stay perfecting my footman’s mawnd, practising my figure dancing (are we human or are we figure dancer?) and flashing the hash when my fubsey aunt served me a field lane duck lasagna.

part one: facer to flash the hash

• facer: a glass filled so full as to leave no room for the lip.
• fagger: A little boy put in at a window to rob the house.
• fakement: A counterfeit signature. A forgery.
• fam lay: Going into a goldsmith’s shop, under pretence of buying a wedding ring, and palming one or two, by daubing the hand with some viscous matter.
• fartleberries: Excrement hanging about the anus.
• field lane duck: A baked sheep’s head.
• figure dancer: One who alters figures on bank notes, converting tens to hundreds.
• fire priggers: Villains who rob at fires under pretence of assisting in removing the goods.
• to flash the hash: To vomit.

part two: footman’s mawnd to fussock

• footman’s mawnd: An artificial sore made with unslaked lime, soap, and the rust of old iron, on the back of a beggar’s hand, as if hurt by the bite or kick of a horse.
• free booters: soldiers who served without pay, for the privilege of plundering the enemy.
• french leave: To take French leave; to go off without taking leave of the company: a saying frequently applied to persons who have run away from their creditors.
• froglander: A Dutchman.
• frosty face: One pitted with the small pox.
• fubsey: Plump. A fubsey wench; a plump, healthy wench.
• fussock: A lazy fat woman. An old fussock; a frowsy old woman.

part three: fusty luggs

• fusty luggs: A beastly, sluttish woman.

sound advice

this week’s f-words come from charles harrington elster’s big book of beastly mispronunciations (1999). while my own strong opinions about orthoepy vacillate between yes! and who-cares?, i have found this book to be (if nothing else) 1—a valuable bet settler and 2—a great way to show your barbarous buddies how much a pedant you can be.

• feral: FEER-ul. this pronunciation is favored by all 4 major american dictionaries.
• fifth: FIFTH or FITH. if you can pronounce the second f, good for you. but there’s nothing slovenly about dropping it… it is biestly however, to drop the h and say FIFT or drop the th and say FIF.
• finis: FIN-is (occasionally, FY-nis). the popular variant fee-NEE is wrong. finis is not french for “finished,” as many apparently imagine. it comes through middle english from the latin word meaning “the end, conclusion.”
• flaccid: FLAK-sid, not FLAS-id. apparently the flabby FLAS-id has been limping around in educated circles for most of the 20th century. webster 3 was the first dictionary to recognize FLAS-id, labeling it with its esoteric symbol of disrepute, the obelus [÷]. flaccid is a book-learned word which may explain why so many educated speakers have swallowed the beastly FLAS-id without giving a second thought to the pronunciation of analogous words. consider: accident, succeed, eccentric, etc.
• forbade: fur-BAD. in 1961, webster 3, in opposition to all previous authority, arbitrarily indicated that forbade should be pronounced fur-BAYD. the controversy may soon be academic: the evidence of my ears says that forbid is fast replacing forbade as the past tense of forbid.
• formulae: FORM-yul-LEE, not -LY. as any science savvy person knows, antennae, larvae, papillae, and so on have a long i sound at the end, right? wrong. words borrowed from latin that form their plurals in -ae properly have a long e sound at the end. that’s why, for example we say AL-jee for algae.
• forte (strong point): properly FORT, now usually FOR-tay.
• fracas: FRAY-kis. the first a is properly long. when you enter the fray, you enter a fracas.
• fungi: FUN-jy (j as in judge), never FUN-gy (g as in gout).

and for another look at how everything that you are saying, you are saying wrong, there is this and this.

the ganan fanon

i have never posted f-words on a friday before but it does seem apropos. this week’s installment is from talk the talk: the slang of 65 american subcultures, by luc reid, 2006:

• fanon (sci-fi/fantasy fans): facts about the characters or worlds of a particular t.v. show, book, movie, etc. that are not part of the source material but originate in fan fiction (contrast with canon).
• flapper (rock climbers): a section of skin damaged in a climb and partly torn off.
• flip topping (puppeteers): making a puppet talk by letting the top of the head go up rather than by letting the jaw go down; almost always considered bad puppetry.
• flock shooter (hunters): a hunter who shoots into a flock of birds instead of taking aim at a single bird.
• flush (bodybuilders): to do many repetitions in order to cause blood to rush to a muscle and deliver more nutrients to it.
• FNG (americans in antarctica): (pronounced FIN-jee) short for “fucking new guy,” an uncomplimentary term for new arrivals.
• forecaster scam (con-artists): a scam in whcih the con artist makes different stock predicitons to different groups of people and continues to contact only that increasingly smaller group of people who by chance received accurate predictions. By this means, the con artist can appear to have special knowledge of the market and can exploit the situation to sell or promote dubious investments.
• funambulist (circus performers): an aeriel artiste who walks on a rope or cable suspended high in the big top.

how to decipher theatre reviews

when the dust jacket of a novel informs you that miss x is “the new jane austen,” you instantly know that her book is full of bitchy remarks, and any novel written “in the style of virginia woolf,” obviously has no plot. similarly theatre criticism can be understood once the technical terms used by the modern critic are decoded.

• brechtian production: the company couldn’t afford a set.
• epic production: a production that is still going on long after the pubs have closed.
• feminist: productions in which over 5% of the company are women.
• high comedy: comedy without any laughs
• naturalism: the depiction of life at its most boring.
• polemic: the argument of a play. sometimes it goes like this:

x: would you like a cup of tea?
y: no.
x: oh yes you would.
y: oh no i wouldn’t.
x: oh yes you would.
y: oh no i wouldn’t…etc.

• polished: overrehearsed and smug.
• political: sympathetic to the left
• working-class-theatre: theatre cultivated to instill a sense of well-being and smug superiority in an audience of middle-class, pseudo-intellectuals.

these amusing interpretations are from bluff your way in british theatre (1986). as it was written by fidelis morgan and his first name begins with an f, i figure that all of the words (and not just feminist) are f-words thus satisfying my weekly obligation to present them.

fousty bologna

oh my garsh! who less-than-sign-numeral-threes folk dictionaries? raynor ganan, that’s who. here are some of the most obscene f-words that the dictionary of newfoundland and labrador has to offer.

• fairy breeze: a squall of wind on an otherwise calm day.
• fallish: the feeling of autumn in the air.
• firk: to scratch or dig gingerly, “the hen is firking the ground for a bit of seed.”
• flanker: a spark from a fire, ” the wind was blowing the flankers from the chimney across the harbor.”
• flick: a short distance away, “lewisporte is just a flick from here.”
• float: to shoot a seal in the throat so it doesn’t sink.
• floption: in a state of confusion
• flounce: let oneself fall into a lying position, “i was so tired when i came back from hunting that i just flounced on the bed.”
• founder: of a ship, to fill with water and sink.
• fourer: an alcoholic beverage or snack at 4:00 p.m.
• fousty: having a foul-smelling odor, “that bologna is starting to smell fousty.”
• fudge: to manage daily chores by oneself, “my wife is in the hospital having a baby so i have to fudge.”

a sapir-whorfian investigation (for those not in the know, whorf is the klingon from reading rainbow) yeilds the newfoundland zeitgeist: sailing, domestic drudgery and shooting seals in the throat so they don’t sink.

f-names

in honour of surname day° at the ragbag, and as this week’s installment of f-words, i present some curious last names from the dictionary of german names by hans bahlow (1967):

• Fackler: torch maker.
• Farsbotter: ‘fresh butter’, hence: butter dealer.
• Fechter: one whose occupation it is to fight duels either for legal purposes or at fairs.
• Federer: feather dealer.
• Fickenscher: pickpocket.
• Filter: a felt hat maker.
• Findekeller: ‘find the cellar’, a derisive nickname for someone who loves to drink.
• Fleischfresser: ‘meat eater’, hence: a butcher.
• Frattensattel: ‘strain the saddle’, hence: a horse dealer.
• Fügenschuh: ‘to make the shoe fit’, hence: a shoemaker.
• Fuß: someone with striking or unusual feet.

a feather dealer? a felt hat maker? THESE are occupations that i can get behind.

some more f-words

previously, i presented some choice f-words from a naughty dictionary. i think it only fair that i feng shui the durtyness of those words with some far cleaner f-words from another dictionary. from a handlist of rhetorical terms (1991)° [paraphrased]:

• far fet: a figure of speech where the present effect is attributed to a remote cause: “the ship is sinking, damn the forest where the mast grew.” (also metalepsis)
• fleering frumpe: mockery of an opponent accompanied by a gesture. (also mycterismus)
• flitting figure: passing over an issue quickly. (also metastasis)
• forrein speech: mispronunciation through ignorance or a wretched accent to fit the meter or rhyme. (also barbarismus)
• foule speech: lewd allusion or double entendre (also cacemphaton)
• frequentatio: word heaps; when one tries to win an argument by using a multitude of unnecessary words. (also congeries)

looking over this list is like reading a harry potter grimoire°.