sixteen raw sausages in a wooden bowl by salim fadhley (2005)
is this art or a photo for a wikipædia article? if a wikipædia article, is it a comment on vegetarianism? if art, is it a comment on the patriarchy? discuss amongst yourselves.
the answer.
![arachnivores unite!
Even individuals amongst the more polished nations of Europe are recorded as having a similar taste [in spiders]; so that if you could rise above vulgar prejudices, you would in all probability find them a most delicate morsel. …Reaumur tells us of a young lady, who, when she walked in her grounds, never saw a spider that she did not take and [pop into her mouth] upon the spot. Another female, the celebrated Anna Maria Schurman, used to eat them like nuts, which she affirmed they much resembled in taste, excusing her propensity by saying that she was born under the sign Scorpio.If you wish for the authority of the learned: Lalande, the celebrated French astronomer, was equally fond of these delicacies, according to Latreille. And if, not content with eating spiders seriatim, you should feel desirous of eating them by handfuls. You may shelter yourself under the authority of the German immortalized by Rosel, who used to spread them upon bread like butter, observing that he found them very useful.These edible spiders, and such like, are all sufficiently disgusting, but we feel our nausea quite turned into horror when we read in Humboldt, that he has seen the Indian children drag out of the earth centipedes 18 inches long, and more than half an inch broad, and devour them.
i was born under the sign of scorpio AND i am absolutely starving right now. if only this succulent delicacy was still in my kitchen…
from the curiosities of food by peter lund simmonds (1859).](http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krm24wLGDR1qzrip0o1_r1_400.jpg)
arachnivores unite!
Even individuals amongst the more polished nations of Europe are recorded as having a similar taste [in spiders]; so that if you could rise above vulgar prejudices, you would in all probability find them a most delicate morsel. …Reaumur tells us of a young lady, who, when she walked in her grounds, never saw a spider that she did not take and [pop into her mouth] upon the spot. Another female, the celebrated Anna Maria Schurman, used to eat them like nuts, which she affirmed they much resembled in taste, excusing her propensity by saying that she was born under the sign Scorpio.
If you wish for the authority of the learned: Lalande, the celebrated French astronomer, was equally fond of these delicacies, according to Latreille. And if, not content with eating spiders seriatim, you should feel desirous of eating them by handfuls. You may shelter yourself under the authority of the German immortalized by Rosel, who used to spread them upon bread like butter, observing that he found them very useful.
These edible spiders, and such like, are all sufficiently disgusting, but we feel our nausea quite turned into horror when we read in Humboldt, that he has seen the Indian children drag out of the earth centipedes 18 inches long, and more than half an inch broad, and devour them.
i was born under the sign of scorpio AND i am absolutely starving right now. if only this succulent delicacy was still in my kitchen…
from the curiosities of food by peter lund simmonds (1859).
an iris by any other smell
some flowers are named after objects that they resemble, some are even named after the way that they feel, but my favourite flowers of all are the ones named after their odor. in this latter category none is more exemplary than the roast beef plant—an iris that is said to have a pungent beefy musk.
In his English translation of Rembert Dodoens’s A New Herbal (1619) Henry Lyte, calling it `Stinking Gladin’, pulled no punches. He said that the leaves were “of a lothsome smell or stinke, almost like unto the stinking worme”.
first butterflies that defecate butter and now plants that smell like roast beef!?! what a marvelous age of discovery it is for this indoor naturalist!
i wonder if the roast beef plant goes well with armoracia rusticana.
for wunderpantry: 3,000 year-old bog butter »
Bog butter is an ancient waxy substance found buried in peat bogs, particularly in the United Kingdom and in Ireland. Likely an old method of making and preserving butter.
and you thought that century eggs were the oldest delicacies in my cupboard—well you miscalculated by a factor of ten (and a multiple of three)!
a b-list friend of mine just returned from paris where he took a two week haute cuisine cooking course (just for yucks). among other tricks that he taught me is a french technique for cooking steak—in a pan while constantly spooning melted butter over it. this is known in the trade as nourishing. thus, to nourish something is to bathe it in butter so as to increase succulence.
now if you’ll excuse me, i am off to nourish my bacon.
i thought i would write a post today that didn’t involve freaky sex terms or raw fraternity boy potty humor… and so, like nabokov, i turned to butterflies! but then i came across this factoid [alert: it has the potential of (figuratively) spoiling your butter]:
oh boy! my first dog was named snickers for similar reasons. again, i have verified the etymology but not the semblance.
1moretime: THEY ARE CALLED BUTTERFLIES BECAUSE THEY POOP BUTTER!!!!!!!!!
- Air, approximately 6 cubic feet
- 1 pound highest-grade sirloin
- 3 eggs
- 4 perfect lobsters
- Whipping cream, basil and the most expensive mushrooms obtainable anywhere in the world.
- Mix, in a mixing bowl, the air. Set aside to cool.
- Take the sirloin, the eggs, the perfect lobsters and the incredibly expensive mushrooms and return them to the store.
- Come home.
- Remember that you also should have returned the stupid basil and the idiotic whipping cream.
- Bag up basil and whipping cream, go back to the store exasperated, return basil and whipping cream, stomp out of store.
- Come home, pretend to be eating the air in the bowl, look at imaginary person to your right, slowly shaking head as if to say, Wow, was that good. Serves 1 to 20.
Important: If you experience actual pleasure during any of the above steps, you are doing it wrong. Smack yourself in the head with tenderizing mallet until headache develops, then repeat Steps 1 through 6, watching carefully for signs of enjoyment. A desirable variation involves skulking around the neighborhood to see if anyone is enjoying a lush, decadent meal. If so, lecture on benefits of self-denial and sinful nature of self-gratification until he or she loses appetite or chases you away. Sneak back later, firebomb his or her grill.
from “the food fundamentalist” by george saunders (2006).
pork chops & porcelain
both are ultimately from the latin porcus meaning pig. porcelain chinaware was so named because of its resemblance to the cowrie “porcella” shell. the porcella shell was so named because of its apparent resemblance to she-pig pudenda.
NOTE: while i HAVE verified the etymology, i have NOT verified the visual similarity.
FURTHER NOTE: yet.
i have tasted some weird treats in my lifetime but the thought of adding chicken gravy (and nutmeg) to my beer makes me want to dry heave.
Take a cock of half a year old, kill him and truss him well, and put into a cask twelve gallons of Ale to which add four pounds of raisins of the sun well picked; sliced Dates, nutmegs and mace.
Then boil the cock in a manner to a jelly; then press the body of him extremely well, and put the liquor into the cask where the Ale is, with the spices and fruit; then put to it a pint of new Ale yeast, and let it work well for a day. if it proves too strong, you may add more plain Ale to palliate this restorative drink, which contributes much to the invigorating of nature°.
bonus information: other popular beer cups (ale drinks with additives) at the beginning of the eighteenth century were named:
Humpty-dumpty, Clamber-clown, Hugmatee, Stick-back, Knock-me-down, Fox-comb, Stiffle, Blind Pinneaux, Stephony and Northdown.
from: the curiosities of ale and beer, by john bickerdyke, 1886.
![on eating a man[atee]
(emphasis mine)
Manatees… are, according to my friend, Chief Justice Temple, frequently caught and brought to the market of Belize, where they are snapped up with the greatest avidity.
The flesh of the manatus is white and delicate, and tastes like young pork eaten fresh or salted, while the fat forms excellent lard. The cured flesh keeps long without corruption, and it will continue good several weeks, even in the hot climate of which it is a native, when other meat would not resist putrefaction for as many days…The fat, which lies between the entrails and skin has a pleasant smell, and tastes like the oil of sweet almonds. It makes an admirable substitute for butter, and does not turn rancid in the sun. The fat of the tail is of a firmer consistence, and when boiled is more delicate than the other fat.
I do not, myself, fancy the flesh of this brute, for it is so inhumanly human—it reminds one so much of a mermaid, or of one of the fifty daughters of Nereus, that to eat it seems to me to be an approximation to cannibalism. It appears horrible to chew and swallow the flesh of an animal which holds its young to its breast, which is formed exactly like that of a woman, with paws resembling human hands.
from the curiosities of food by peter lund simmonds (1859).](http://18.media.tumblr.com/3FZnoU8PUqf9pchhC7jZ0It9o1_500.jpg)
on eating a man[atee]
(emphasis mine)
Manatees… are, according to my friend, Chief Justice Temple, frequently caught and brought to the market of Belize, where they are snapped up with the greatest avidity.
The flesh of the manatus is white and delicate, and tastes like young pork eaten fresh or salted, while the fat forms excellent lard. The cured flesh keeps long without corruption, and it will continue good several weeks, even in the hot climate of which it is a native, when other meat would not resist putrefaction for as many days…The fat, which lies between the entrails and skin has a pleasant smell, and tastes like the oil of sweet almonds. It makes an admirable substitute for butter, and does not turn rancid in the sun. The fat of the tail is of a firmer consistence, and when boiled is more delicate than the other fat.
I do not, myself, fancy the flesh of this brute, for it is so inhumanly human—it reminds one so much of a mermaid, or of one of the fifty daughters of Nereus, that to eat it seems to me to be an approximation to cannibalism. It appears horrible to chew and swallow the flesh of an animal which holds its young to its breast, which is formed exactly like that of a woman, with paws resembling human hands.
from the curiosities of food by peter lund simmonds (1859).
![the original little cæsar’s menu
suppose that (despite all odds) you have just been elected the chief priest of the roman state religion and you want to show your gratitude (and get a little publicity as well) by throwing a lavish dinner for the felyshyppynge of virgins that tend rome’s fire up at the atrium vestal. what are you gonna prepare?
for starters, they are virgins so you would not want to excite their libidos too much with phalliod sausages or erotic cakes. it might also be a smart political manœuver to keep the lavish menu on the frugal side as the roman economy is in a bear market right now and the last thing that you want to do is give your rascally opponents (catulus and publius) reason to slander you in their blogs.
you are perhaps the world’s greatest political and martial tactician yet your choice in matters culinary is now the most important decision of your life. it’s your move, hot shot.
[spoiler alert] this is the answer: i give you—the menu of dinner given by julius caesar to the vestal virgins after his election as pontifex maximus. rome 63 b.c.
i. service
prickly globe-fish, oysters of different kinds, thrushes, asparagus, fattened chicken, oyster-patties, black and white sea-acorns (a kind of mussels), sea-nettles, fig-packers (snipe), cotelettes of venison and wild boar, fattened wild game powdered with flour
ii. service
swine udders, wild boar’s head, swine-udder patties, ducks, potted teal ducks, roasted wild game, pudding, custard, pientinish sandwiches
wines
falerno, xérès, spanish médoc
image from the buttolph menu collection (this is a real thing) of the new york public library (1888).](http://9.media.tumblr.com/3FZnoU8PUq4v161pWy8yYzlwo1_500.png)
the original little cæsar’s menu
suppose that (despite all odds) you have just been elected the chief priest of the roman state religion and you want to show your gratitude (and get a little publicity as well) by throwing a lavish dinner for the felyshyppynge of virgins that tend rome’s fire up at the atrium vestal. what are you gonna prepare?
for starters, they are virgins so you would not want to excite their libidos too much with phalliod sausages or erotic cakes. it might also be a smart political manœuver to keep the lavish menu on the frugal side as the roman economy is in a bear market right now and the last thing that you want to do is give your rascally opponents (catulus and publius) reason to slander you in their blogs.
you are perhaps the world’s greatest political and martial tactician yet your choice in matters culinary is now the most important decision of your life. it’s your move, hot shot.
[spoiler alert] this is the answer: i give you—the menu of dinner given by julius caesar to the vestal virgins after his election as pontifex maximus. rome 63 b.c.
i. service
prickly globe-fish, oysters of different kinds, thrushes, asparagus, fattened chicken, oyster-patties, black and white sea-acorns (a kind of mussels), sea-nettles, fig-packers (snipe), cotelettes of venison and wild boar, fattened wild game powdered with flour
ii. service
swine udders, wild boar’s head, swine-udder patties, ducks, potted teal ducks, roasted wild game, pudding, custard, pientinish sandwiches
wines
falerno, xérès, spanish médoc
image from the buttolph menu collection (this is a real thing) of the new york public library (1888).
D. Federico Rasmussen left the 3rd Street Butcher Shop with parcels of brown-papered meat and a feeling of annihilation. Neither the meat nor the feeling was especially uncommon—the meat was saltmarsh lamb, though the 3rd Street Butcher Shop was exceptionally well stocked with all manner of flesh from both creatures of the field as well as the hunt.
Dinner at the Rasmussen manor was dinner in the Rasmussen manner—six guests, octagonal table, alternating sexes, a pasti apéritif pre and port digestif post, with a blessing by both a priest and poet (who were not usually the same person). Dinner at the Rasmussen manor was saltmarsh lamb dressed with mint sauce and accompanied by vegetable marrow farci and boiled rice parmentier. Dessert at the Rasmussen manor was supposed to be peaches in chartreuse jelly, a specialty of Mrs. Rasmussen’s—but it was never served because the fourth course (punch à la Romaine) was disrupted (and for that matter, so was the entirety of D. Federico’s adult life) by an innocent inquiry from guest number six.
“Fede darling, I saw you on 3rd today when I was walking Genevieve, you went in the butcher shop and I followed to say hello, but inside you were nowhere in sight. It’s a funny thing really, Delores has always maintained that that place is a front for prostitution. You weren’t rendezvousing with a lady of the night were you Fede? Fede?
the, nora ann gray (1972).
synsepalum dulcificum
i finally hosted a miracle fruit tasting party last night. briefly: citrus fruits tasted like ambrosia, anything that already had sugar in it tasted like bubble bath, and everything else tasted the same (ie. capers were still as objectionable as ever).
in man’s quest to muck about with the natural order of things, he has turned his attention from utensils to the source of what they utend: ie. food. today’s set of hybrids are less about form and more about colour (recorded in appended photo) and taste and texture (not recordable in photos as of 5/21/2009). yet, as with all good hybrids, wacky names play a major role.
![half the fun of hybrid cutlery° is the peculiar names.
UPDATE: (6/15/2009) i now own a splayd of my own and have reviewed it here.
UPDATE: kottke & eatmedaily readers, should you ever be able to pry yourself away from gawking at the splayd, you may enjoy my other chart posts or food posts. you may also get a charge out of a selection of my other dispatches—[disclaimer: it is also very possible that you could find them tremendously boooooring (extra o’s added for emphasis).]](http://10.media.tumblr.com/3FZnoU8PUnpthudmhn7mWEQlo1_500.png)
half the fun of hybrid cutlery° is the peculiar names.
UPDATE: (6/15/2009) i now own a splayd of my own and have reviewed it here.
UPDATE: kottke & eatmedaily readers, should you ever be able to pry yourself away from gawking at the splayd, you may enjoy my other chart posts or food posts. you may also get a charge out of a selection of my other dispatches—[disclaimer: it is also very possible that you could find them tremendously boooooring (extra o’s added for emphasis).]
